


embers

by jessamoo



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/F, Kidnapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 01:47:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6354001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessamoo/pseuds/jessamoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when laurel is kidnapped in order to hurt nyssa both women are forced to confront their feelings for one another</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Nyssa had been taught, for as long as she could remember, to control her emotions. Then to use them, to channel them, once it became clear to her trainers in the league that she would never be able to repress them entirely, the way her father expected her to.

Even when she had tried so hard to act the way he wanted, she had felt the shame of her own emotions like an albatross around her neck. Something to squirm and move inside of her like a monster she couldn't banish. There were times when she barely recognized what she was feeling.

But Sara had sparked something inside her. A deep, old longing she had never been able to admit to. Sara's laugh had been like the sun coming out after a lifetime of darkness. But even Sara, her Sara, irrepressible and forever as she was, had been changed by the league. Nyssa had to watch her try to contain her own brightness, like trying to hold sunbeams in her fingers. The darkness found her and it was an endless night that they both had to learn to live with. 

But now Nyssa wanted to be something different. It was a strange feeling for her. She had come to discover, however, that her mind often wandered now to Laurel, and the person she saw when she looked at Nyssa. Laurel was the opposite of Sara in many ways. Instead of quashing it, she had harnessed her light. She had made it her strength and her weapon. And somehow, for some reason, she seemed to look at Nyssa like she could do the same thing. Nyssa felt embers of potential stirring within her, some bright sparks in the ashes inside her, and it made her want to burst into flames. 

Now though? Now she felt sick, and scared and her fingers were tingling. She cannot remember the last time her hands were unsteady. Because that cold void that had always rested within her, the hollow place she had always tried to force her mind to go to, was full of dread and the looks on the faces of those in front of her only increased it.

"What do you mean Laurel has been taken?" Felicity demands, her eyes wide. "Where is she?"

Nyssa shook her head. If only she knew. She'd scour the earth to find her, that was the only thing she was certain of. "I don't know." Is all she can say.

"How do you know she's gone? What did you do?" Oliver narrows his eyes at her accusingly. Nyssa feels a flush on her cheeks. What was happening to her that he of all people could make her feel shame? She knew the answer, of course. Laurel was in danger and it was her fault.

"Many people," She started, taking a deep breath to steady herself. " Are angry at my disbanding the league. As you can imagine, it was profitable for many. Criminals, mercenaries, militant groups. Information and work came through the league for many. And so now this particular group of mercenaries have taken Laurel. They left me a calling card - I would rather, however, not wait until they choose to contact me again since I believe they mean to force my hand. Either to recreate the league or to begin passing them information once more. Or..."

She trails off. The endless possibilities for cruelty flooded through her painfully.

"Or?" Diggle prompts. His arms are crossed angrily, but she senses some sympathy behind his eyes. This is such a contrast from how he normally looked at her that she didn't know if it was better or not.

"Or this might simply be a punishment. In which case..."

"In which case Laurel is in even more danger." Oliver finishes, though nobody needed him to. 

Thea, who had watched this whole scene with wariness, moving around the edge of the group, her predatory cat like gaze pinned on Nyssa, finally spoke up, asking the one thing no one had thought to bring up yet. "Why would they take Laurel?" 

Her eyes are piercing, and far more perceptive than her brothers, since he seems perplexed when everyone else glances at their feet awkwardly. Thea, of course had known the answer before she asked the question. 

Nyssa raises her chin defiantly, her jaw flexing. She feels as if steel is coating her bones as she stares straight ahead. She had no lies, nothing to say other than the truth. It is the only thing in her. 

"It is unoriginal, but effective. Have not all your adversaries tried the same thing?" She asks Oliver who glances away from her sharp look. "In order to hurt your enemy, in order to force their hand, you do not hurt them. You hurt the thing that is most precious to them."

Silence greets her words. They ring out around the lair like a bell. Like if anyone spoke, there would be an irrevocable shift in them all.

Felicity is the first to respond, a light house in a storm. "Whatever the reason, they have our friend. We have to get her back. You give me whatever you know about these guys and I'll start working up a profile, find some places they might be."

"I'll go see Quentin, see if he has any leads." Diggle says, Thea hot on his heels. She shoots Nyssa a small, somewhat pitying smile on her way out.

 

Oliver still seems to be floundering. Nyssa sees his fingers flexing, his urge to use his bow, to funnel his frustration, is achingly familiar to her. She had been feeling the same thing for hours.

She turns to him after she had told Felicity everything she could to see his taught as a bow, a frown creasing his face.

"But why Laurel?" He shakes his head. "I know you two are...friends, if you can call it that."

"I do." Nyssa snaps. She sighs then, her anger melting away. She feels sorry for him, somehow. She had brought forth secrets, the inner lives of the women her surrounded himself with. He didn't really know any of them, she thinks. It must be somewhat strange, to question the people you thought you knew. "You know, Laurel was - is - a great friend of mine. She brought me a sense of happiness that I cannot put into words. And so after getting rid of the league, I was adrift. I did not know my purpose. I did not have anyone to turn to. So I looked to the person that made me feel settled. Normal. And I came to star city."

Oliver looks at her for a long moment. "Laurel never said anything. About you being here, I mean." There is a softness to his tone now. He knows what it is to be adrift. 

"She didn't know. I did not quite have the courage to knock on her door." Nyssa smiles sadly. Her heart twists inside her. If she had been a little braver, if she had gone to Laurel properly, she might have been able to fight these men with her. This might not have happened. She would have her war companion, she would have her sword, her canary looking at her the way she always did. "But I checked in on her. From a distance, to make sure she was alright."

Oliver nods like he understands. Her answer seems to satisfy him.

"You care about her." He says simply, but he's looking at Felicity when he says it. Nyssa knows he is thinking about how he feels for his beloved. She wonders if he's finally piecing it together now.

"As I said. Really, I think she is the only person in the world I have left now. And I would not wish for another...not anymore."

She thinks about Sara. Lost somewhere, to time, to memory. Laurel feels real to her in a way she had never experienced before. She wants to take this feeling and make a home for it. It's strange. She had felt that she had given her soul to Sara, but when she thought about Laurel she felt that she could have a piece of it back. Those sisters were the tide ebb in her heart, shifting and eroding her in ways she couldn't control.

Suddenly, as if from far away, the computer makes a noise. Felicity types furiously, it is incomprehensible to Nyssa, but then the images floating on the screen seem to line up and Felicity reaches out into the air. Oliver meets her hand, taking it in his. Nyssa is struck by the idea that Felicity had know instinctively he would be there to do so. Would Laurel feel that, somewhere out there? That Nyssa was coming for her?

Because she was. Felicity barks out the most likely address before contacting Thea and Diggle. Nyssa follows Oliver, and for the first time since she had got that too familiar calling card from those thugs, she feels steady. 

Because she is armed not only with her weapons. She is armed with information and a desperate need. And sometimes that is enough. Or at least, she hoped it would be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> light trigger warnings - nothing happens but there is some discussion of topics like addiction and assault

When Laurel woke up, she didn't know where she was.

This was not the first time this had happened to her.

She remembers once, she woke up in a bed she didn't recognize. She remembers the stale alcohol on her breath and the world tilting head ache. She knew she must have been drunk the night before, or taken something, though she couldn't remember anything. It was a black hole of nothing. Thinking about this had sent Laurel's mind to a place of total numbness. She was the black hole. She consumed and destroyed.

She'd reacted on auto pilot. One simple action after another. She had lifted the covers slowly. Thankfully she still had her clothes on. She still needed to check though, she knew that. She moved her hand into her underwear. Nothing felt sore. She didn't see any bruises, though that didn't actually mean that much. But she surmised that nothing had happened to her. She didn't think anyone had done anything to her, thankfully. 

Once she had stumbled as quietly as possible out of the bed, she began to notice things about the room. For one it was littered with things she recognized. It had turned out that she'd not been in danger. Felicity had found her, somewhere, somehow, out of it on god knows what, and had taken her back to her place - Felicity couldn't get any sense out of Laurel when she'd asked about her keys, so Felicity's apartment it was.

After the embarrassment and sickening fear had gone - or at least the fear anyway - Laurel had known for the first time pure hopelessness. She had finally understood that whilst if anything had been done to her it was not her fault - her addictions were dangerous. They were frightening. She didn't know herself, she lost time and agency and that struck her then. She had been so calm, checking her own body for abuse. The real trauma lay inside of her. She was becoming someone she didn't recognize. She was becoming hollow, and void. 

And so she had become the black canary. She had dug around in the dirt and roots of her soul. She had nurtured it and loved it and she had grown once more, into something more beautiful. She had been do determined not to be hurt again.

But this had happened. 

She had woken up in a strange place. She had lost control. Something had been done to her and she barely knew what or why.

 

She was in a warehouse, by the looks of things. Unrestrained in a small room, she could see out a window to the other side of the building. An abandoned looking warehouse, she amended to herself.

She shivered. She hated the idea that someone had acted upon her, invaded her life, crossed her borders, and despite everything she hadn't stopped it. She had once been able and ready to hurt herself - but this was someone else's doing. And that devastated her in that moment.

Laurel tried to take a deep breath, to swallow her rising sense of panic. She tried to think.

The room she was in was very light, thanks to the window. Obviously people wandering around and peering in wasn't a worry. She vaguely remembered a fight from the night before - or thought she did anyway. But she didn't know why she would have been kidnapped. Almost no one knew she was the black canary and she had been at home at the time. She was in her normal t shirt and jeans. And so she surmised, they - whoever they were - hadn't taken the canary. They had taken Laurel Lance.

She tried to think of any criminals she'd angered recently - but since she was very good at both her jobs, they were all in jail. And besides. You didn't kidnap someone to punish them, you would just kill them or hurt them. The only reason you kidnapped someone is because you wanted something from them...or from someone else. Her father?

If that was the case then she would just have to find a way to escape. No one would ever use her, full stop, never mind to hurt people she loved. She would have to protect herself in order to protect her family as well.

Just as she thought this, the door squealed open. A huge man came in and looked at her as if he didn't have a care in the world. He had a huge beard covering his face, but Laurel thought she could still see his sneer when she raised an eyebrow at him.

The villain waxed poetic, as villains are wont to do. They all thought their cause was justified. None of them ever were. They just loved the sound of their own voice. They were performers. Laurel wished she could scream until her lungs burst. She wished she could scream them all to dust.

Instead, she sat quietly as the man who had orchestrated her kidnapping deigned to tell her why. Since they, in their arrogance, had not restrained her, she had an idea that she could potentially take her kidnappers down. But it would have to be at the right time. And honestly, she didn't actually know if she could, with no weapons and no idea how many people were in the building. Or where she was.

Laurel blinked suddenly, returning to herself, when she heard a familiar name. A name she had not expected. How could a name so beautiful rip through this room? How could it exist in the mouth of this man?

"Nyssa." She breathed quietly, repeating after him.

"Nyssa Al Ghul has a lot to answer for." Blackbeard said - That is what she called him in her mind, anyway. For obvious reasons. Cisco would be appalled at her lack of originality, she thinks.

"And who are you, to be her judge?" Laurel asks loftily - but she finds that she means it, very deeply.

"I am one of the men who is going to bring about a new age for the league of assassins. But there are certain pieces of information I need. Certain groups have to be informed that the league has been reformed. But they are a traditional lot, the people the league dealt with. We need Nyssa Al Ghul to..."

"To make it legitimate." Laurel finishes. She shakes her head. "If you need her to convince people to follow you, then maybe you're not the right guy to be in charge. She won't do it, you know."

Blackbeard waved her comment away. He seemed to have convinced himself that his idiotic plan would work. But if the many high end groups of businessmen or mercs or anyone else the league did business with were worth their salt, they would know he was no true leader. But disbanding the league had created a power vacuum, and people did stupid things to gain power. Like using Laurel as leverage of Nyssa.

"She will do everything I say, if she values your life. How much faith do you have in her, I wonder?"

And then he left her, with the seeds of doubt in her heart.

Did she have faith in Nyssa? Did she honestly believe Nyssa would risk everything for her? Truly, she didn't know.

Laurel tried so hard to the light in people. She knew what kind of a gift that was. She knew what a little belief could do. And she had thought she saw something in Nyssa, something good. Nyssa had had her light trained out of her - but that didn't mean it was extinguished. Laurel had thought that. She had thought she'd known it completely. But now she wasn't so sure. Nyssa was pragmatic. She saw the bigger picture. And so would she, knowing the harm it might cause, do something stupid to help Laurel?

Laurel wants to believe in her. She wants to do that for her. She remembers Nyssa's face, when she had melted the ring. She had looked at Laurel, straight in the eyes, and Laurel had felt a shift in her heart. She had felt that she had been right all along. 

She tries to remember that feeling now. She tried to sink it into her and spread it out against her like a shield. Laurel believed in people. She defended people. Ever since she could remember she had wanted to help people. Those long nights at CNRI, too much coffee and pencils in her hair, finding the one thing that would win her case. She had changed a lot since then, she had lost a lot, but she had not lost herself so much that she was willing to give up on people.

She couldn't do much right now, but she could do this. She could trust Nyssa.

She decided to try and find a way out. Hopefully, by the time she did, she would have some back up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long. after the death a few weeks ago i lost a bit of my inspiration and i decided i wanted to do something specific with this one. sorry if the story seems a little rushed but i didn't want to drag it out too long. also i have an original story that i would like to focus on. but the reception to this story has been wonderful, so thank you!

They met in an abandoned warehouse. Tall empty walls that echoed. Nyssa imagined that they stretched on forever. The thought made her feel suffocated. She missed the crisp mountain air of her childhood. The clean smell of flowers and snow. The thought of Laurel deep in the bones of this place made her feel even worse. But she had a job to do. She had reasons, she had plans, she had a war to fight. So she breathed deeply, steadily, and kept her gaze straight ahead.

Even when they dragged Laurel out in front of her, pushing her to her knees, somewhere that girl should never be, all Nyssa could do was stare straight forward. Straight at an arrow. She felt her jaw twitching from the effort. She could tell from what she heard of Laurel's breathing that she was angry. That was good. She still had her spirit within her. 

"You will come with us to Nanda Parbat. You will reveal what you know of the league and it's magic."

Team arrow stood behind Nyssa. This crook in front of her. But she didn't move. She didn't owe them a single movement. She didn't belong to them. She belonged to herself, and whoever she chose to give herself too. And that was not this thug. It wasn't a husband. It wasn't the league. It wasn't the demon, her father. It was one person. She looked at Laurel finally, purposefully, knowing she would find her answer. 

She saw that they had hurt her. This was to be expected, and she knew Laurel could take it. But still. There was a dark purple bruise blossoming on her cheek. Bruised peach, trampled flowers. It made Nyssa want to cut throats. 

Laurel's eyes were wide and bright, but they weren't scared. She was looking at her like she always looked at her, like she trusted her to do the right thing. 

Nyssa knew what kind of terror a league led by mercenaries could do. They would destroy worlds. But there was a twisting in her stomach. She wanted very badly just for Laurel to be ok. 

"Don't, Nyssa." Laurel says, her voice as gentle as feathers, as sunlight. Nyssa is surprised to see Laurel smiling, and she knows what it means. She's trying to tell her it's ok.

"Do you not value your woman's life?" Blackbeard chuckled.

Nyssa scowled that medusa scowl of hers. "Do not call her that." She stood up a little straighter. "What would be the point of saving her when I would lose her anyway? Lose her faith in me?" There would be a point, of course. She would endure any hatred, any loss, for Laurel's life. But she raises her head and gathers her strength when she sees Laurel. She's looking at her like she is proud of her. And so she carries on, addressing Blackbeard once more. "You know nothing of love."

Blackbeard sighed. The sharp ring of his sword echoes around the room. Everyone else draws their weapons, Nyssa doing it automatically, staring at Laurel the whole time, like she's trying to keep her there in the world by sheer force of will. There is a shift in the air. Silent communication. Some understanding that meant Laurel knew something was coming. Laurel nods almost imperceptibly, even as a sword is pressed against her throat. Her face has settled into a serene calm. 

"I made myself clear. If you refuse me, Laurel Lance will die."

Nyssa glanced at him. Then she smiled.

"What are you smiling at?" He asked a little uneasily. Only just realizing there might be something to be uneasy about. As if this arrogant man could ever be a league member, let a lone leader.

"If it had been anyone else this plan might have worked." Nyssa told him. "You were after all, correct in your assumption that I would do anything to ensure the safety of..." She hesitated for the briefest moment before saying "The safety of my beloved." She lets the worlds settle inside of her. "But you were wrong about one thing."

Team arrow was still behind her, poised and ready, like jungle cats ready to pounce. 

"She doesn't need me to do anything." Nyssa finishes in explanation. "In fact, I would wager she has simply been waiting for the right moment."

"For what, exactly? To laywer me to death?" Blackbeard sneers.

"No," Laurel grunts. "To kick your ass."

And then several things happened at once. Arrows were shot, swords rang out, people inexplicably fell from the ceiling. The usual. But that is not what Nyssa would remember most. What Nyssa remembers most, is this;

Laurel sprang up, her hair flying wild at the wind. She was like a lion roaring against the burning sun. 

And she fought. Hard, brutal smacks, dull thuds of flesh being hit. Bruises and blood. 

But she was free. She was moving and breathing and fighting. She was real, she was a heartbeat, a war drum, a victory cry. She was every thought, every wish that Nyssa had ever kept hidden. She is a thousand exploding stars.

She was there, right in front of Nyssa, saving herself, looking like a valkyrie, like a myth. But she was present and here with her. With Nyssa, in her bones. She's living, she's oxygen in veins. Nyssa loves her more in that moment than any memory, any fiction she could invent.

 

Laurel falls asleep on her shoulder as they make their way home. Nyssa doesn't move a muscle so she doesn't wake her up. She thinks about what she'd like to do now, and for some reason all she can think about is fries and chocolate milkshake.

When they get back to the city there are hugs and tears and various manly grunts instead of actual emotional expression and Laurel accepts all of this gracefully. Nyssa watches calmly, waiting. She is patient. She had been waiting for something inexplicable, unnameable, for her whole life. She feels this unnamed thing might finally be coming into focus.

 

They sit at the same table they always sit at and order the same thing they always order. The routine is comforting, like it had always been this way. 

Laurel's eyes scan the walls of the restaurant where there were many Polaroids of the customers from over the years. Families grinning, the kids faces covered in food. Couples holding hands on the table without noticing, the touch familiar. A hundred lives all spread out in front of her. It's why Laurel loves it here. It's the same reason she stands on rooftops. It reminds her of all the people she fought for. The people she tried to save. They look happy. 

She is struck by a thought suddenly, when she looks in their eyes. Like they are speaking to her. Like they are saying it's ok. It's ok, you did it. You saved us. We're alright now. You can go. We'll be fine. Go and be as happy as us. It's your turn. We love you, we love you, we love you.

She listens.

Laurel takes a deep breath and looks at Nyssa, her face soft in the low light. 

"We could go somewhere." She says.

Nyssa blinks in surprise but doesn't speak.

"You know, I've never really traveled. I always said after college, but, well, you know." She trails off. She doesn't sound sad exactly. Just nostalgic for things that didn't happen.

"Could you really leave here?" Nyssa asks. "Really? And with me?"

Laurel thinks about it seriously for a moment. "Yes."

"Oliver and Felicity couldn't leave." Nyssa points out.

Laurel shakes her head. The ideas, the words come to her fully formed just waiting for her to notice them and catch up. 

"They thought it was either or. They tried to be different people. We wouldn't need to do that. We can travel and still help people. People always need help, wherever they are. Star city isn't the only place that needs a hero." Laurel sighs again. "I mean we don't have to. If you don't want to. It might be better for you to settle somewhere."

Nyssa shakes her head slowly. "I did think that. But then I realized that peace, that normality, it didn't come from this city. It...It was you. You are that place. I would go anywhere with you."

Laurel's face breaks with emotion and she reaches out to take Nyssa's hand across the table.

 

So this is how it starts. There are no grand proclamations. No cruel to be kind. One does not make decisions for the other. It's a partnership. There are a few moments of course, when one thinks they might be safer apart. But they respected and loved each other enough to accept, not to hurt. And besides, what would be the point of killing yourself just to stay alive if you weren't going to live your life at the end of it? So they spread their wings and flew away.

And everybody lived.


End file.
